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Saturday 11 January 2014

The Telegraph has published a list of the Top 10 all-time American Rock bands - here's my infinitely superior version

Little Feat
The Telegraph list (here) includes some odd choices. The Band - perhaps the greatest North American rock band of all time - were 80% Canadian, as the Telegraph admits; Bruce Springsteen isn’t a band; Jimi Hendrix wasn’t a band (and if he was, two-thirds of it was British); R.E.M produced some good stuff but (to my ears at least) were more New Wave pop than rock; The Ramones were fun, but they were a punk outfit, and extremely limited; Metallica were after my time (and, apart from their version of “Whiskey in the Jar”, I haven’t liked anything of theirs I’ve heard)...

...Nirvana were also after my time, and, while I love a few of their tracks, I’ve never quite recovered from this Chris Morris parody; Aerosmith – some good stuff, but they’re more of an accomplished Stones tribute act (only with even bigger lips) than a truly original band in their own right.

I’ll give them Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, who initially struck me as Dylan and Byrds rip-off merchants, but who I’ve grown to appreciate over the years. And The Doors, of course (I know this will annoy at least one of my regular visitors, but I’ve admitted my partiality to this band on several occasions, despite the fact that Jim Morrison was a pretentious, drunken nob).

Leaving those aside, here – for the handful of you who actually care about this sort of stuff – is the alternative Grønmark Blog list of genuinely great – and genuinely American – rock bands (heavily weighted in favour of the Sixties and Seventies, because I’m like well old innit):

1. Creedence Clearwater Revival
The compiler of the Telegraph list must be either under 45 or deaf (or both) to have left out this fabulous outfit. I suggest he (or she) starts by listening to a greatest hits compilation album, and then posts an apology.


2. Little Feat
I’ll admit to not getting Little Feat when they first appeared on the scene. It wasn’t until the ‘90s that the scales fell from my ears. “Oh Atlanta”, “Fat Man in the Bathtub”, “Dixie Chicken” – for goodness’ sake! (Maybe the compiler just doesn’t like Southerners.)


3. The Allman Brothers Band
No, the compiler really doesn’t like Southerners.


4. Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
As this lot hailed from Detroit, maybe the compiler doesn’t like Frozen Northerners either.


5. ZZ Top
A "dads' favourite", I know, but that alone can’t explain their exclusion. Maybe it's because they’re from Texas?


6. Buffalo Springfield
They were gone in the blink of an eye, but for sheer talent, originality and influence, they deserve to be on the list. Yes, there’s a heavy country tine, but they could rock when required. (I could have gone for CSN & Y, but while Stills and Young rocked as individuals, the band rarely did).


7. J. Geils Band
Too bluesy? Who cares?


8. The Grateful Dead
Too country? Too folk? Certainly, they were more convincing as the ultimate eclectic, rootsy Americana outfit, but they've afforded me so much aural pleasure over the years (?), I insist on including the befuddled old hippies.


9. Steve Miller Band
American. Rocked. Brilliant. Lots of hits. Filled stadiums. What’s the problem?


10. The Byrds
Yes, they had their heyday in the ‘60s, but for several years they were American Rock, albeit heavily folk and country-tinged – and they could rock with the best.



Lynyrd Skynyrd almost made the cut – and probably deserved to for “Sweet Home Alabama” alone – but I just don’t rate enough of their stuff. Ditto Blue Oyster Cult and “Don’t Fear the Reaper”. The Box Tops tempted me. As did Blondie, the Flamin' Groovies, Eagles and Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers - but, for various reasons, none of them quite fit the bill.

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